ADDRESSING THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM

Anytime the elephant has to be addressed, it gets kinda awkward. Objectively speaking, the past couple of months have been nothing short of awkward but interesting here in the motherland. We have seen scenes and heard hearsays only an election season can bring. The roller-coaster effects of an almost healthy campaign transcended beyond party lines and once again Ghana won.

The cacophonous rants of “Kukrudu” and “3y3 Zu 3y3 Za” filled our streets. Party faithfuls flamboyantly paraded party colours as they witnessed to as many political infidels as possible. In a frantic effort to convert them from their apoliticism to join their respective parties. I think I speak for all of us if I say this was the best elections ever!


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This same election pre-hype season gave birth to some of the most riveting and engrossing campaign ads I have ever seen or heard. This short lived entertainment rather served a diverting purpose. Distracting us from the profundity of national matters while trivializing the emphatics of our daily economic hiccups seemed to be its main aim.

I must admit, for a seemingly long but rather stint time, I forgot there ever was a phenomenon ever known as “Dumsor.”  I completely forgot how liberal Ghana was to the point that you could take taxpayer’s money to buy “Kebabs and Pampers.” Then we realized keeping guinea fowls was what we needed as a nation to develop our agriculture sector. So what did we do? We pumped money there too. I totally forgot that these guinea fowls flew first class from Ghana to Burkina Faso like Mzbel would be doing soon.


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Probably my memory was wiped momentarily but how could I possibly forget that over a hundred lives perished in the Circle floods in the 21st century (Meanwhile in USA meme). Perhaps the bright lights of Circle Dubai blinded me with all its splendour. Or just maybe the jokes of Osuofia in his comic clip cracked me up like the collapsed Melcom Building. Or most definitely the creative media takeover excited the particles in my system triggering my temporal amnesia.


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But the elephant in the room reared its dirty head minutes before ballot sheets entered the ballot box. It was like a sequel to Total Recall. It was either a flashback kicked in real quick or Ghanaians were just savages. However the flash back was swift and with the smirk of Patience Ozorkor before she kills someone, revenge was served cold like ‘asana’ on ice with simple thumbs weighing as heavy as boulders.

It must pain a lot if you throw hundreds of millions at an election and get extremely adverse results. More like paying for remedials at Ideal College and still failing in the end. I mean how could you fail? The commercials were flowing from all media outlets and the message was ever retrogressively dynamic like Asiedu Nketeezy’s fashion direction.


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We literally woke up to a new commercial each day. Don’t get me wrong it was ridiculously refreshing. It was like two white men battling it out in an afrodance battle. Just excited fellas taking meaningless turns to show their moves. I won’t lie, some of them were humorous.

So fast forward. The Election Day came and the old traditions became obsolete and antiquated. A sitting president lost to a” Political Nov-Decan.”  A John lost to a William, thereby rendering the gates of presidency open to all. Now a Joseph’s lingering thoughts which were merely en passant, can become a reality someday.


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Let me hasten to add, that once again, it must pain a lot to lose an election to “someone who is not fit to criticize your actions because he has never been a president.” It wouldn’t be trolling if the first month of the incoming administration is used to just mark your script like WAEC does to a “Nov-Dec virgin” in attempt to maintain their position on retenship yearly.

Morale of this post? Simple! People may give an unlooking-eye to your “Deadgoat” syndromic nature but just realize that when the elephant is not addressed properly, your World Bank reserve of voters will crumble to a DKM Micro-finance and that’s where it gets awkward. Think of it, the utter pain of watching your campaign song become the victory song of your rival….It must pain a lot.


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Now to those who feel they are standing firm, I pray thee to remain steadfast lest you fall. As they say, when two elephants fight, it is the ground that suffers. In that same nerve, when the elephant falls, again the ground suffers. Trust me, I will be there with my witty tongue to run my mouth like a machine gun to tell the tale if that fall ever happens.

The real challenge here won’t be a Kalypo related one but rather, to be able to deliver a majority of the promises you have made to Ghana. We wish you all the best but should you habour the thought of failure even for a nanosecond, just remember there will be babies with sharp teeth ready to dismember you like the current NHIS.


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At this point I will leave you with one scripture…John Three Sixteeeeeeeeen! #Onaapo!


 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. (John3:16)


By: Jospeh Mclean-Arthur

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of any associations the author may have with any individual or institution. 

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