When I met my first girlfriend some years back, I wanted to date her because I thought she was hot. That is how most guys operate. Nothing wrong with that. However…”looks” won’t get you through life’s struggles and if “looks” is your main concern, it’s likely you’ll become a statistic spending sleepless nights crying because of a broken heart.
Choosing to start a relationship with the girl you’ve got your heart set on is a big decision, but also one that opens the door to many exciting possibilities. Because of the emotional investment involved with any serious relationship, it goes without saying that you’ll want to choose your girlfriend carefully. Men who have wonderful women in their lives will tell you–there is nothing more satisfying than having a great partner by your side. For some single guys like myself, choosing the right woman can be a struggle. There are thousands of good women out there, but some men consistently pick incompatible mates.
Though almost every relationship will have difficult patches, relationships should bring happiness to both partners most of the time (Wake up and smell the coffee if you were thinking, most of the time). Anyway I don’t blame you for thinking that way. A relationship is not a movie so it’s time most of you stopped making Rosalinda and La Gata influence your relationships.
Personally I have made
some many mistakes with girls and though I am not proud of them I am very glad I made them. I am now a little wiser in that aspect though I still have a lot learn. I’ll never understand women and even if I did I wouldn’t believe it.
Rule #1: Choose a girl who wants the same things from a relationship that you do.This is one of the most common (yet most preventable) recipes for relationship disasters. This rule supersedes all the other rules which include proper hygiene habits, confidence in her own abilities, genuine demeanor, her ability to find humor in herself without being overly self-deprecating. If your goals are not aligned spiritually, economically, mentally and emotionally, then keep this article’s link very well because you’ll need it in the near future when you are single again.
Rule #2: Prioritize emotional attraction, but don’t rule out physical attraction. Yes… I know “she’s got a sweet spirit and she can pray”… but you need to be physically attracted to one who will later be your wife and have a physical relationship with her. You’ll want to hug her and flirt with her. You’ll find yourself thinking about her when you get bored at work and you’ll look forward to walking in the door when you get home to behold her lovely face. She’ll be a “sight for sore eyes” to you and a day away from her will be painful. But if you don’t feel a real emotional connection to your girlfriend (who will be your wife), it doesn’t really matter how pretty she is – your relationship is going to be a dull one.
Rule #3: Avoid girls who don’t want to commit. If you’re looking for a dedicated girlfriend, don’t waste time with someone who’s uninterested in a committed relationship. Some girls, like some guys, don’t have the healthiest priorities when it comes to the relative importance of people and things. As a rule, good girlfriends won’t watch you go broke trying to please them and leave you when you get broke for ‘greener pastures.’
Rule #4: That old relationship adage “communication is key” – is repeated often, but for good reason. When it comes to girlfriends, you want someone who’s willing to be open and honest with you, especially when it comes to any problems than may be affecting her or your relationship as a whole.
Rule #5: Avoid girls who don’t value you. This is very, very important. Relationships are a two-way street, so it’s just as important for you to treat your girlfriend with respect and affection as the reverse is.
Rule #6: It’s actually the most important thing in my mind. She knows there is something bigger than herself. There is something bigger than you. Her world revolves around her commitment to God. This love she has for God will translate into how she treats others and how she treats you.
“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” (Proverbs 31:30)
If she is the right woman, you will be more attracted to her as she gets older. After she has your kids and when she thinks she is at her worst, you’ll think she is even more beautiful and you should tell her. She won’t believe you but you should tell her anyway. You’ll regularly emphasize the things about her that you are attracted to and it will make her shine. Everyone has a natural desire to feel attractive, but especially women. The more attractive she feels, the more confident she’ll be. The more confident she is, the more attractive she’ll be. And if you are a woman and you’re reading this, this may not be what most men want but trust me this is what we need.
Good relationships don’t just happen it takes time, patience and two people who truly want to be together. So keep your eyes wide open before marriage and maybe half closed afterwards.